Autumn 1808
By the latter part of 1808, the cooler months had brought a welcome change to Calcutta. The heat of the long summer had eased, and the social calendar was once again filling with dinners, musical evenings and gatherings. For Jemimah, these were familiar pleasures, though her visits to Basu Bari had added a new dimension to her life. She now moved with ease between the two households, and had come to value the different kinds of companionship each offered.
Her friendship with Kamala had continued to deepen. They sometimes discussed matters which Jemimah would not have raised with her other acquaintances, particularly the expectations placed upon women and the different ways in which marriage shaped their lives.
Kamala occasionally reminded her that she had yet to experience the responsibilities of a married household.
“You are fortunate,” she remarked one afternoon, “that you have not yet had to consider all the duties which come with marriage.”
“I have considered marriage,” Jemimah replied. “I am simply not persuaded that it must be the only important thing in a woman’s life.”
Kamala smiled.
“I did not say that it was. But it is a very important thing, and it brings responsibilities which you may not yet understand.”
“Then I must learn.”
“That is what you are always saying.”
“And is it a fault?”
“No,” Kamala replied. “Though I sometimes wonder whether you will ever be satisfied with what you learn.”
Jemimah laughed, recognising the truth in the observation. She was beginning to understand that Kamala’s acceptance of family obligations did not mean that she had never questioned them. Nor did Kamala suppose that Jemimah’s independence made her incapable of appreciating the importance of family. They had different experiences, but their friendship allowed them to speak honestly about them.
At the Fairfax house, meanwhile, the social season brought its usual succession of dinners and entertainments. The Pritchards remained frequent companions, and the Lascelles and Wetherbys were often included in larger gatherings. Jemimah continued to enjoy these occasions, particularly the musical evenings and dances which brought together so many of her friends.
One evening, Elizabeth Pritchard arranged a dinner at her home, followed by music and dancing. The invitation had been extended to the Fairfaxes, the Lascelles and the Wetherbys, and Edward had suggested that Raghunath and Madhav should also be invited.
Charlotte was pleased with the arrangement. She had become sufficiently comfortable with the Basus to regard their presence as entirely natural, and Elizabeth was glad of the opportunity to welcome them into her home.
The evening was lively. Colonel Lascelles was in good spirits, Henry was attentive to the younger ladies, and Louisa Wetherby had already discovered that she and Anandamayi shared an interest in music. The two young women were soon exchanging remarks, with Kamala occasionally helping them when conversation became difficult.
Jemimah was wearing a pale blue gown which Charlotte had chosen for her, and her hair had been arranged with a little more care than usual. She was conscious that James Pritchard had sought her out shortly after their arrival, and she was happy to talk with him. He was as agreeable as ever, and their conversation turned to a recent book which he had been reading.
James had always been a pleasant companion. He listened attentively and was interested in her opinions, even when they differed from his own. Jemimah valued his friendship, and there was nothing uncomfortable or forced in their conversations.
Elizabeth, watching them from across the room, exchanged a knowing glance with Charlotte. Neither woman said anything, but Charlotte was pleased. She had not abandoned the hope that James might one day become more than a friend to Jemimah. He was a respectable young man with good prospects, and she could see no reason why the friendship should not develop further in time.
Jemimah, however, gave little thought to her mother’s hopes. She was enjoying the evening and the company of her friends.
Madhav arrived with his father a little later. Raghunath was welcomed by Edward and William Pritchard, while Madhav was introduced to the others. He greeted Jemimah with a warmth which was perhaps a little more noticeable to her than it had been in the past.
James, who had been speaking with her, included Madhav in their conversation. They discussed a book on the history of India, and the three of them soon found themselves in a lively exchange about the way the past was recorded.
“I should like to know why so many accounts of this country are written by men who have spent so little time here,” Jemimah remarked.
James smiled.
“Perhaps because they have the advantage of distance.”
“Or the disadvantage,” Madhav replied.
Jemimah laughed.
“I think Mr Basu has expressed my own objection rather better than I did.”
James accepted the remark good-humouredly.
“I shall have to read more carefully before offering an opinion next time.”
The conversation continued, with James contributing his own observations and Madhav offering a different perspective. Jemimah enjoyed seeing the two men in conversation. James was thoughtful and courteous, while Madhav brought an understanding of Bengal which neither of them could have gained from books alone.
Yet she was increasingly aware of Madhav’s presence. She was pleased to see him, and the pleasure was difficult to conceal from herself.
Later in the evening, when the dancing began, Henry Lascelles asked Jemimah for a dance. She accepted, and for a time she was entirely occupied by the music and the movement of the room. Henry was an accomplished partner, and she enjoyed dancing with him. He was confident and sociable, and knew how to make an evening pleasant for those around him.
When the dance ended, she thanked him and returned to the company. Almost without thinking, her eyes moved towards the other side of the room.
Madhav was speaking with Elizabeth Pritchard. He looked up at almost the same moment, and their eyes met briefly.
Jemimah turned away, a little embarrassed by her own reaction.
Georgiana, who had been watching her sister, noticed it.
“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” she said quietly.
“I am.”
“Indeed?”
Jemimah looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing at all.”
Georgiana smiled and turned back towards the others, leaving Jemimah to wonder whether she had noticed more than she intended.
The evening continued pleasantly. Jemimah danced again, spoke with Louisa and Catherine Pritchard, and spent some time with her mother and Elizabeth. She was conscious of Madhav’s presence throughout, but there was no reason for her to abandon her friends or to make their acquaintance appear different from what it had always been.
Madhav, too, was becoming more conscious of the difference between his feelings for Jemimah and the affection he felt for the other members of the Fairfax family. He valued Edward’s friendship and enjoyed Charlotte’s company, but Jemimah occupied his thoughts in a way which he could no longer easily dismiss.
He had not spoken of it to anyone. He was aware of the consequences which might follow, and knew that any change in their relationship would affect not only himself and Jemimah but both families. For the present, he continued to behave as he always had: courteous, attentive and careful not to make his feelings apparent.
As the evening drew towards its close, Jemimah found herself on the veranda, where the air was cooler and the noise of the drawing room less intrusive. Madhav joined her a little later. For a moment they stood watching the guests moving between the rooms, the music continuing behind them.
“You seemed to enjoy the dancing,” he said.
“I did. Henry Lascelles is a very good dancer.”
“I noticed.”
Jemimah smiled.
“And you did not dance with me at all.”
“I thought it perhaps wiser not to ask.”
“Because of what people might think?”
“Yes. I would not wish to cause comment, or put you in an awkward position.”
Jemimah was quiet for a moment. She had not considered how differently he might experience an evening which, to her, was entirely familiar.
“I hadn’t thought of it in that way,” she said. “I am sorry if you felt you could not.”
“You need not be sorry. It is something I have grown accustomed to.”
“Nevertheless, I should have enjoyed dancing with you.”
He looked at her, and for a moment neither spoke. There was no need for either to say more. Jemimah was beginning to understand that the social conventions which governed her own life did not necessarily apply in the same way to Madhav. What she regarded as an ordinary pleasure might place him in a difficult position, and he had been considerate enough to avoid creating an awkward situation for her.
She was glad he had explained it, and resolved to be more thoughtful in future.
Then Kamala appeared at the far end of the veranda.
“Jemimah, you must come and see what Anandamayi has found.”
Jemimah turned towards her friend, but the brief conversation remained with her. She had enjoyed the evening, and she had been glad to see Madhav among her friends. Yet she was becoming more conscious of the differences which separated their worlds, even when their own feelings and understanding seemed so closely aligned.
As the guests began to leave, Georgiana noticed that Jemimah had seemed particularly attentive to Madhav. She had known for some time that the two had become close, but there was something in her sister’s manner that evening which made her wonder whether the friendship had developed further.
She said nothing. She was not yet certain what she had observed, and Jemimah had given her no reason to ask.
The evening ended pleasantly, without any incident that would have attracted notice. On the journey home, Charlotte spoke of the Pritchards’ hospitality and the agreeable company they had enjoyed. Jemimah listened, answering when required, but her thoughts returned to the conversation on the veranda.
She was beginning to understand that the affection she felt for Madhav was no longer quite the same as friendship. She had not intended it to happen, nor could she say precisely when the change had begun. She only knew that she was increasingly conscious of him, and that his presence mattered to her in a way which she had not expected.
And, for the first time, she began to wonder whether Madhav might be feeling something similar.