Early September 1809
As the arrangements for their departure became more definite, Jemimah found herself thinking increasingly about Georgiana. Of all the people she would leave behind in Calcutta, it was her sister’s absence from her daily life that troubled her most. They had shared so much of their childhood and had remained close as they grew older. Jemimah knew that, whatever happened, she would want to keep in touch with her.
She could write to Georgiana once they reached Penang, but she needed to consider how the letters would be received and passed on. She could not be certain that ordinary correspondence would always be straightforward, particularly while their departure remained a secret from the rest of the family. It occurred to her that she would need someone in Calcutta whom she could trust to receive her letters and ensure that Georgiana received them.
There was one person who immediately came to mind.
Jane Ellwood, now Mrs Bellamy, had established a home with her husband. Jemimah had visited her once since she had left the Fairfax household and had been pleased to find her settled and happy. Although they no longer saw one another as frequently as they once had, their affection remained. Jane had been part of Jemimah’s life for so many years that she still thought of her as someone to whom she could turn when something important troubled her.
She decided that Jane was the person she should ask.
She arranged to visit one afternoon when she believed William Bellamy would be occupied with his business. Jane welcomed her warmly and invited her into the sitting room.
Good afternoon, Mrs Bellamy.”
“I am very glad to see you, Jemimah. It has been too long since you last came.”
They settled together, and after a little conversation about Jane’s new home, Jemimah hesitated.
“Before I begin, I hope you will forgive me if I still sometimes call you Mrs Bellamy. I have known you as Miss Ellwood for so many years that I am not sure I shall ever quite grow accustomed to the change.”
Jane laughed softly.
“You must call me Jane, Jemimah. I am still the same person, and I should like you to feel that nothing has changed between us simply because I am now married.”
“I should like that too,” Jemimah replied. “It may take me a little time.”
“I shall be patient. I am very glad to see you, Jemimah It has been too long since you last came.”
“I am afraid I have been rather occupied.”
“I hope that means you have been keeping well.”
“Very well, thank you. And you? Are you still enjoying married life?”
Jane smiled.
“Very much. It is a different kind of responsibility, but a pleasant one. William is very considerate, and I find that I have more time for reading than I had expected. I had forgotten how agreeable it is to be able to finish a book without being interrupted by a lesson or a recitation.”
Jemimah laughed.
“I am sure we gave you plenty of interruptions.”
“You did,” Jane replied dryly. “Though I cannot say that I regretted all of them.”
They spoke for a while about the Fairfax household. Jane asked after Edward and Charlotte, and Jemimah told her how the younger girls were getting on. Frances was growing quickly, although she had not entirely settled with the new governess. Jane listened with interest, asking a few questions about her former pupil and smiling at some of the familiar details.
Jemimah was glad to see that Jane had found happiness in her new home. There was a warmth in her manner which she had not always seen when Jane had been responsible for the education and discipline of four young girls. She seemed more relaxed, and there was a quiet contentment about her.
After a little while, Jemimah put down her cup.
“Jane, may I tell you something in confidence?”
Jane looked at her carefully.
“Of course, Jemimah. You know that you may trust me.”
“I hoped you would say so. It is something rather important, and I have not spoken of it to anyone outside the family.”
“Then I shall listen, my dear.”
Jemimah hesitated. She had known Jane for so many years, and had often found it easier to speak freely to her than to almost anyone else. Yet what she was about to tell her was more serious than anything they had discussed before.
“You will have observed, Jane, that Mr Basu and I have become very close. I think you may have suspected for some time that our feelings for one another were more than friendship.”
Jane did not interrupt, but her expression suggested that she was listening with particular attention.
“We have spoken at length about what a life together might mean. I was willing to make my home with his family at Basu Bari, and we considered whether there might be some way for us to remain in Calcutta. But his family cannot accept me as his wife, and my parents cannot accept him as my husband. We have tried to find a way around these difficulties, but I think we have finally understood that there is no way for us to be together here.”
Jane was quiet for a moment.
“And so you have decided to leave?”
“Yes. It has not been an easy decision, Jane, and we have not made it lightly. But we believe it is the only way in which we can make a life together.”
“Have you decided this quite firmly?”
“I have. We have considered what it will mean for both of us. I know what I shall be leaving behind, and I know that our life elsewhere will not necessarily be easy. But I cannot give up Madhav, and I cannot ask him to give up his family or his beliefs. We must find a way to make a life together.”
Jane folded her hands in her lap.
“I am glad you have spoken to me. I think I have known for some time that your feelings for Mr Basu were more than friendship, though I did not presume to ask. You were always inclined to think for yourself, Jemimah, and I doubt that you would have made such a decision without giving it the most serious consideration.”
Jemimah felt a little of the tension leave her shoulders.
“I was afraid you might think me foolish.”
“I may think you are undertaking something very difficult. That is not the same as thinking you foolish.”
Jane’s answer was so characteristic that Jemimah smiled.
“I should like you to understand that we have not made this decision because we no longer care for our families. Quite the contrary. I think that is what makes it so difficult. We shall both miss them terribly.”
“I can well imagine.”
“And there is something else which has been troubling me. I shall miss Georgiana particularly. We have always been close, and I cannot bear the thought of losing contact with her simply because I shall be living so far away.”
Jane looked at her thoughtfully.
“Does Georgiana know what you intend to do?”
“Not yet. She knows that Madhav’s family cannot accept our marriage, and she knows that Mama and Papa have refused too. But I have not told her that we are making arrangements to leave. I wanted to be certain that everything was settled before involving her.”
“And your other sisters?”
“Sophia does not know, and Frances is still too young to understand what we are planning. I shall have to tell Georgiana before we go, but I have not yet decided precisely when. I know it will be very difficult for her.”
“It will be difficult for you both,” Jane said gently.
“Yes. That is why I want to make certain that we can continue to write to one another once we arrive at our destination, but I need someone here who can receive my letters and pass them on to her. I thought of you.”
Jane regarded her with sympathy.
“You would like me to act as an intermediary?”
“Yes. Would you be willing to receive letters from me and make sure that Georgiana gets them? In my first letter to her I will include where she may eventually write to me.”
“Of course. I shall be glad to help. I shall pass her letters on to her when they arrive.”
Jemimah felt a sudden rush of gratitude.
“Thank you. I cannot tell you how much that means to me.”
Jane smiled, but then her expression became a little more serious.
“You should understand, Jemimah, that I would find it difficult to deceive your parents if they were to ask me directly about you.”
“I would never ask you to do that. I do not want you to lie to Mama or Papa, or to defend our decision on my behalf. You need only receive the letters and pass them to Georgiana. If anyone asks whether you have heard from me, you may simply say that you have not. I would not want you to be placed in an uncomfortable position.”
Jane considered this before nodding.
“I understand. I shall not speak of your correspondence to anyone else, and I shall be careful not to involve myself in matters which are not mine to explain. But I shall be very glad to know that you are safe, and that Georgiana can hear from you.”
Jemimah reached across and took her hand.
“I knew you would understand.”
Jane returned the gesture.
“I hope you will be happy, my dear. I know this is not the life you expected to lead, but I hope you and Mr Basu will find a way to make it a good one.”
“I hope so too. We know there will be difficulties, but we have spoken about them as honestly as we can. I do not expect everything to be easy.”
“No sensible person would.”
Jemimah smiled.
Jane looked at her for a moment, then said, “You have changed since the days when I was teaching you at Englishcombe and trying to persuade you to finish your lessons before asking another dozen questions.”
“I fear I have not improved in that respect.”
“Perhaps not. But I think you have learned to ask rather better questions.”
Jemimah laughed softly.
“I owe you a great deal for that, Jane. You always encouraged me to read and to think for myself. I do not think I would be quite the same person without you.”
Jane seemed touched by this, though she did not make much of it.
“You were always curious, Jemimah. I merely tried to ensure that your curiosity was put to good use.”
They spoke for a little longer, though neither returned to the subject of the departure in detail.
As Jemimah stepped out into the afternoon light, she felt both relieved and saddened. Jane’s agreement had removed one practical difficulty, but it had also brought home to her how close their departure had become. She had now confided in someone outside the two families, and the future no longer seemed quite so distant.
Jane had been one of the first people to encourage her to look beyond the limits of her immediate world. She had taught her to read widely, to question what she was told and to consider the lives of people whose experiences were different from her own. Jemimah could not help thinking that, in a curious way, Jane’s influence had helped bring her to this point.
She was grateful that Jane had not tried to dissuade her, nor had she offered easy assurances. She had simply listened, understood and agreed to help.
For that, Jemimah knew she would always be thankful.